I recently returned from a church Men’s Retreat in the resort town of Lenk, Switzerland. This was MY kind of ‘retreat.’ The majority of our two days was spent on the ski slopes, not talking about God and theology and right and wrong.   I’ve been a Christian since I was 8, so the pastoral… More Lenk

Bread Between The Legs

Yeast infection: Yuck-central to the average vagina owner. Discharge like milk curds, funky smell something akin to old toes floating in rotten vinegar, and an intense itch that you can’t actually itch because if you try, it hurts. Cool, huh? When you’re talking about this fun experience, what you’re largely talking about is overgrowth of… More Bread Between The Legs

Yesterday O’Clock

This guy was dead asleep in his underwear exactly 33 seconds ago. Doing Army stuff is awesome.  Except that it starts so early, the time is best described as “yesterday.”  It’s not uncommon to hear (through my ears), something along the lines of “Formation at Yesterday O’Clock, soldiers!  Then we head to the range for M-16… More Yesterday O’Clock


“1st Platoon!  Atten-SHUN!” We all throw our shoulders back and stare straight ahead into nothing.  And we don’t move.  Leaders mill about, thinking about things, looking over their retirement accounts, playing Tetris on their phones.  But we, the little people, just stand there.  Sweating.  Sweat runs in what feels like lightning patterns down my face.  Down… More Smarching

Officer Basic Training – Day 1 (or, The Subjugation of Befuddlement)

I have left my family in Germany and successfully arrived in tepid San Antonio, TX for 28 days of training to become an officer in the U.S. Army Medical Corps (pronounced ‘core’ not ‘corpse,’ though both work pretty well). On my flight over here, I called some in-charge guy from Oh-Hare airport in Chicago to… More Officer Basic Training – Day 1 (or, The Subjugation of Befuddlement)